Dean wakes from another nightmare. He decides to take a drive and meets up with Castiel.
Dance with you Chapter 01
Summary: Dean wakes from another nightmare. He decides to take a drive and meets up with Castiel.
Characters: Dean Winchester and Castiel (mention of Sam)
Spoilers: Season 04 (Episode 10)
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters neither do I know the actors portraying them.
Author's note: This is the 6th installment of this series.
Begun at: 22 December 2008
Ended at: 04 January 2009
Dean woke up from another nightmare about hell. Lately the nightmares had gotten worse. He was glad his brother wasn't in the room with him tonight. He couldn't bare another pitied look from him. He knew he would regret opening op to Sammy but one way or another he had to let it out.
When his father had died he had smashed up his beloved car, this time he decided to talk about it to his brother... both actions didn't help much.
Deciding he needed to go outside, maybe take a ride. His brother was doing that demon bitch so he didn't need to wait for him. Although Dean doesn't trust Ruby, he is grateful to her for saving his brother's life. Yet, still it wasn't enough for him to trust her.
Dean grabbed his jacket making sure the keys were in his pocket before heading out. He got into his car and drove of. He would never admit it out loud but he loved a good landscape and this town,whichever it was had one; a lake with a forest attached to it. He drove over to the particular spot and after turning the ignition of he got out of the car.
He looked around, trying to figure out if he was followed, more out of habit then out of necessity. After making sure he hadn't been followed he lay down on the hood of the car, taking a beer bottle with him.
After opening the bottle he took a deep swing and stared up at the sky. This particular dream, nightmare, had been tough. Unlike his previous once he didn't torture the souls of strangers he had tortured in hell but he was torturing his loved once: Sammy, Bobby, his father, his mother... he was even torturing one of the angels.
Dean was a little thrown of guard when Castiel had appeared in his dream, waking him up immediately. He hadn't even realized he considered the angel a loved one, he didn't even think they were friends. Maybe they weren't but obviously he felt something for the angel otherwise he wouldn't be dreaming about him, would he?
If there was one thing he was certain about it was the fact that the angels confused him. Most of the time they acted like heartless songs of bitches. Now he knew why, though, Anna had told him angels couldn't feel anything. But still that didn't explain why they would kill hundreds of people or even one of their own kind.
Dean took another swing from the beer bottle as his thoughts strayed to Anna, the fallen angel who got her grace back. Although he had felt a strong connection to her, it was one of the reasons he had slept with her (the other she offered and he isn't one to decline) he didn't really trust her. In fact even since he got back he had even more troubles trusting people.
Maybe that was why he trust Castiel so easily, because he is not a human but an angel. Yet, he didn't trust Uriel, who is also an angel. So, what made Castiel so special? Was it because he had saved him from perdition or was it something else?
Dean didn't understand it but from time to time his thoughts always strayed back to the angel. When he had been with Anna he wished, if only for a second, that it was Castiel who placed his hand on the hand print he'd left when he pulled him out of hell. Of course he had quickly dismissed that thought. It couldn't possible be happening that he was fallen in love with Castiel, could it?
No, of course it couldn't. For one Castiel was a guy and Dean wasn't gay. Second Castiel was an angel, besides the whole 'he can't feel a crap deal' he was sure he'd go straight back to hell if he ever gave in to these emotions and he was going to avoid it at any costs.
Yet, he had seen the jealous, or so he thought, look Castiel had shot him when Anna kissed him goodbye. Yet it was impossible, wasn't it? Anna told him angels don't feel anything so how could Castiel be jealous?
Dean shook his head, downed the rest of the beer and threw it in the lake watching as it filled with water and eventually sank to the bottom.
He lay back down and closed his eyes. Why couldn't his life be simple for once? He opened his eyes when he heard the flapping of wings. "What do you want?" he shot t the newcomer, he really wasn't in the mood for any more 'Lilith is opening another Seal' crap.
Castiel took a step closer to the hunter. He could sense the conflict inside the hunter. He started into Dean's eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong.
"Are you going to stare at me the whole time 'cause if you are I'm really, and I mean really, not in the mood," the continued staring of the angels was making him uncomfortable. It was as if the angel was looking into his soul and he didn't want the angel to find out what he had been thinking minutes ago. He looked away, staring down the lake once more. Why couldn't the angel just leave him alone?
Castiel cocked his head. "You are conflicted," stating the obvious.
"No, shit," he shot but quickly recovered realising his slip up. "But if you're here for a chick-flick moment, you can forgot about it. I'm not in the mood," he knew he was repeating himself but it didn't matter. He just wanted the angel away from him.
The angel's impossible blue eyes bore into his own and he had to close them, not wanting the angel to see how uncomfortable it made him. A long silence followed and Dean figured the angel had left but when he opened his eyes again he noticed the angel was still there.
"What?" Dean shot at the angel getting more annoyed by the second.
"You told your brother," the angel said as if he had just figured it out. Maybe he didn't, Dean couldn't care less and shot him a look as if to say 'So?'.
"It is a good thing you confided in your brother, it will help you heal," before the angel could continue he was pinned to the floor with Dean on top of him.
"What the fuck do you know about it?" he asked harshly. When the angel didn't say anything just continued to stare at him the hunter snapped. "You don't know how it feels to torture souls just so you won't have to be the one being tortured. You're not the one who's continually reminded of what he's done, of what kind of monster he has become. You are not feeling the guilt for every freaking second he's alive. So, tell me... How am I suppose to heal form that?" the angel still remained silent, knowing the hunter needed to rant.
"Who am I kidding," the hunter continued. "You don't understand anything, you can't even feel." Dean closed his eyes shaking his head trying to clear his mind, when he opened his eyes he realised just how close he was to the angel. During his little speech he had moved closer and they were almost touching. He swallowed licking his suddenly dry lips not able to move as he stared into the blue depths that was the angel's eyes.
Castiel had kept silent the whole time the hunter had spoken, knowing full well the burden that lay on his shoulders. The demons in hell had really taking it out on Dean. Trying every trick they knew and inventing knew once until Dean snapped after 30 years.
Castiel had been amazed, was still amazed, at how long it lasted before he snapped. Most people would snap at 5 years, 7 years tops. No one had lasted 30 years. Ever since the hunter had been born he knew Dean was special. He had proven that many a time when he was alive and proved it again for 30 years in hell. Even his remaining 10 years he had fought every single time not to hurt another soul. Unfortunately the demons loved to see him break and did so every day, trying to break the hunter.
Castiel had wanted to pull Dean out of hell the second he'd been there but he wasn't allowed. Though the first weeks he had mentally transported himself to hell when he had a moment to spare and stayed with Dean, trying to ease his pain. He hated the fact that he wasn't allowed to help Dean and it broke his heart every time when he had to leave the hunter.
When the order came to pull Dean out of hell Castiel had wasted no second. He dove in, not caring for his own safety or soul. It took him 10 days to find the hunter's soul. When he did find him he was afraid he had come too late. Dean's eyes were blank, doing as he was told by the demons. Yet, sometimes he would pull up a little resistance and that gave Castiel hope. He took Dean by the shoulder and groped him tight, flying away from hell. It took him about a month to get Dean out of hell, the demons kept trying to take the hunter back but Castiel didn't gave in and groped the hunter tighter.
The hardest part was yet to come, the threshold between earth and hell but Castiel had never before been so determined to take Dean out of hell almost breaking his wings in the process. Castiel pulled through and placed Dean back into his body after remaking it before he returned to Heaven to heal.
He knew hell had broken him even more, he just never realised how much more.
"You've been listening to Annachael," Castiel stated after cocking his head. "You shouldn't believe everything she told you."
Dean snorted, "yeah, why's that?"
"Annachael fell for a reason and not the reason she told you," the angel continued. "It is true Annachael didn't feel anything. But that's not the reason she fell. She was one of the head warriors and wanted more power. When she didn't get promoted... she fell."
"What are you talking about?"
Annachael always wanted more power, Dean. Everything she had ever done was just to get more power," the angel explained.
"Are you saying she used me to get her grace back?" when Castiel didn't answer Dean knew the truth. "Figures," he mumbled.
"You're not surprised," Castiel stated. "You felt you couldn't trust her?" the realization was new to Castiel, he thought Dean would have trusted her. Especially when he saw them kiss.
"I don't trust anyone," Dean replied, feeling slightly guilty after seeing the hurt look in the angel's eyes.
Dean suddenly realised just how close he was to the angel, again. Funny how he kept forgetting how close they actually are. He made to move away but instead of moving away he moved in closer, pressing his lips to the angel's. In the back of his mind he knew this must be wrong but why then did it feel so good? He was sure he would get struck by lightning or be smitten down by now but nothing happened. He started moving his lips, gently pushing against the angel's.
The angel still didn't react, worrying Dean. He pulled back, opening his eyes, only just now realising he had closed them and looked at the angel. Castiel had his eyes closed, a slight flush covered his cheeks. He looked beautiful...
Dean shook his head. Since when did he find a guy beautiful? Dean's thoughts were spinning but the one that stood out the most was 'kiss him again'. Only he didn't he waited for Castiel to open his eyes.
When Castiel finally opened his eyes, Dean could see the confusing shining in the blue orbs. But that wasn't the only emotion Dean could decipher; love also shone from the blue orbs but the one that was most clearly was lust. Did the angel want him?
Dean leaned in once more, pouring more passion into the kiss. The angel had awoken newly found emotions deep inside him and he didn't know how to control them. The only way he could think of to led them out was by kissing that magnificent creature under him.
A moan escaped his lips when Castiel started to move his own lips against Dean's. Slowly, as if he was exploring he entered the angel's mouth. Running his tongue over the angels lips before passing his lips an teeth to duel with the angel's tongue.
Castiel started running his hand's over the back of the hunter, pulling him closer to his body. Feelings he never thought possible were flowing through his veins making him want more. He wasn't quit sure what it was that he wanted. All he knew was that Dean was the only one that could give him want he wanted, what he needed.
Dean broke to kiss to make his way to the angel's neck, biting and nipping where neck met shoulder.
"Please," the word broke from the angel's lips before he know it. He felt Dean smile against his flesh which made him shiver. It didn't take long for Dean to pull away. The confusing clear in his eyes, broke the angel's heart.
"Annachael lief when she told you angel's don't feel," the angel began. "It is true some angels don't feel anything and Annachael was one of them," he reached up to caress the hunter's face. "I am not one of them."
Dean closed his eyes as he leaned into the angel's hand, but opened in shock when the angel told him he loved him. "What?" he stuttered.
"I love you, Dean," Castiel repeated, honestly. "And have for some time now," but those words were left unspoken.
Suddenly Dean pulled away and stood up, shaking his head as if he was denying everything he had heard.
Castiel, aswell, stood up and took a step closer towards the hunter. "Why is it so hard to belive you are loved?" Castiel asked.
Dean struggled to find the words, not finding any he just shrugged.
"I have to go," Castiel told him after turning away. "I am being called," he turned back to the hunter. "I won't start this dance with you, Dean," he told him in a softer voice. "Know that I love you and I will be here when you realise this."
For a moment Dean looked away but when he looked back the angel was no where to be find leaving him alone with his thoughts.