Erestor has been in love with Elrond for millennia. Now that Erestor is fading is Elrond willing to love him back?
Give me a chance Chapter 01
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor do I know the actors portraying them.
Author's note: One of the stories I wrote during NaNoWriMo 2010.
Begun at: 1 November 2010
Erestor made his way through the gardens of Imladris to his favorite spot; a bridge that over looked the entire valley. Dinner had just started but he had decided not to join the others. It wasn't as if he was hungry any way. He didn't have an appetite, hadn't for a long time. He only eat some fruit in the morning when his stomach demanded he ate something but other than that he didn't eat all day.
He was actually surprised the others hadn't noticed his absence. Or maybe they had but just didn't care. It had happened more often than not that he didn't join them for dinner. He usually preferred the quiet of his study or the library and not the busy Hall of Fire. Normally Elrond would take a moment to hunt for him and made sure he was eating right but he hadn't seen Elrond outside of his study since two moons ago.
Ai, Elrond. Erestor knew exactly when it had happened when the dark haired half elf had captures his heart and never returned it. It was millennia ago, when they were both fighting against Sauron's forces in the High King's army. Elrond had been Gil-galad's herald and Erestor had been a simple foot soldier but they had become friends. So close even, that Erestor was invited to have dinner with the High King on occasion.
It had been at one of those dinners that Erestor had fallen in love with the Peredhil. The three of them had been talking and making jokes; one time Elrond's laugh light up his entire face. His eyes had shone as bright as Eärendil, his face was relaxed in happiness and his laugh sounded like music to the young warrior's ears. It was a moment that had been engraved in Erestor's memory for all eternity.
Although Erestor had wanted to confide in the herald, he thought it best not to do so until the war was over for if the half-elf rejected him he wanted nothing more than to die but he couldn't. Gil-galad needed all the help he could get to defeat this enemy.
So, Erestor had stayed quiet. Even after the war he didn't tell the half-elf. He kept telling himself that he would tell Elrond when the time was right…but the time never came.
When Elrond had married Celebrian his heart broke and never healed. He still didn't understand how he had managed to live this long and yet he was still here.
Not for long, the thought entered his mind as a shiver went through him. No, it wouldn't be long before the elven sickness claimed him.
He pulled his cloak tighter around himself when he arrived at the bridge. From this side you could see the entire valley and it was the most beautiful sight Erestor had ever set eyes on. Yes, he would miss this valley. It had been his home for millennia and to leave it behind broke his heart. But he couldn't go on like this much longer. Seeing Elrond every day, working with him, yet knowing his love was not returned broke his heart and each day there was less and less left of his heart.
He sighed and closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. He would take his love with him to the halls of waiting and maybe there he will find peace.
"Erestor?" A soft voice pierced through his thoughts but he couldn't place it. "Are you ill, mellon nîn?"
Erestor turned to the voice and saw two identical concerned faces. "I am fine, Elrohir," he answered the twin that had spoken. Over the years he had become rather close to the twins, more closer to Elrohir than Elladan, but he had never confided in them. How did he tell them that he was in love with their father? Their father that was still mourning their mother's leaving for Valinor? No, he couldn't confide in them. There wasn't anyone he could confide it. This is my burden to bear.
"Are you sure you are fine? You are shivering." Concern was leaking in Elrohir's voice as he noticed the sunken eyes, the skinny state his old teacher was in and the shivers that ran through his body. Elves don't get cold, unless they are half-elven but Erestor wasn't a half elf, was he?
"Pen-neth, I am fine," Erestor tried to have the twin a reassuring smile but failed as he swayed on his feet. He hadn't noticed he was getting weaker.
"You are not fine," Elladan stated. "We are taking you to my father."
Panic showed in the advisor's eyes. "Nay, seas, don't take me to your father."
Elrohir and Elladan shared a confused look with each other wondering why Erestor didn't want to go to their father. "We must take you to see a healer, you are not well, mellon nîn,"
"Seas, no." He had enough of the healers. "Take me to my room, if you insist on taking me somewhere. I refuse to see the healers."
The twins shared a look before helping Erestor to his room. They didn't know what was wrong with their friend but they were determined to find out.
When they arrived at the advisor's room, the twins helped Erestor into the bed. They were concerned as the watch the silent figure shiver and close his eyes. The twin shared a look which said that they would watch over him. They waited until the older elf was asleep before they seated themselves down.
"What do you think is wrong with him?" Elrohir asked his brother. He had chosen to sit on the chair closest to the bed so he could caress the advisor's hair.
"He is cold even though he's elven. His dark hair is losing its colour. He barely eats; we haven't seen him at dinner for many nights. He closes his eyes while he sleeps. He shuns himself away from everyone. He's tired most of the time. He hasn't snapped at anyone in…I don't know how long…" Elladan summarised the symptoms
From that summary both elves could only come to one conclusion. "He's fading…" Elladan continued, "and if we don't find out why, find a way to help him, we will loose him forever."
A silence fell over the room as both twins were lost in thought. "Why do you think he's fading?" Elrohir asked his brother.
Elladan took a moment before answering. "It could be many things and I'm reluctant to believe any of them. Nonetheless he is fading so we must face the facts. It is my believe that he's in love and it's either not returned or the elf he loves is not available."
"If that is true, then we will lose him," Elrohir took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Could it be that he's in love with someone but hasn't told her or him yet?"
Elladan took a moment to consider his brother's words. "I hope that will be the case for then we are able to help him."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, dear brother?" Elrohir asked his brother; a twinkle in his eyes.
"Aye, my brother, we are going to find out who it is that our dear advisor loves and then we are going to make sure they get together."
Elrohir smiled at his brother for that was indeed what he was thinking. "And hopefully we are not too late to help him…" Erestor was loved by many especially the twins. They had grown up knowing the advisor. Although he hadn't always been the nicest Elf around, the twins had always know Erestor loved them in his own special way.
Elrohir remembered a time when he and his brother were younger. They had snuck way from their parents watchful eyes as the headed out on an adventure; like one their father had told them about. The had ended up at the Bruinen and decided that they should save each other. First Elladan jumped in and then Elrohir, intent to ‘save' his brother. They hadn't know the current was too strong for them and they would have drowned had it not been for Erestor jumping in, not caring about his own safety, and saved them. Downing wet he had handed to twins over to their parents before excusing himself to be alone…as he always was.
Now that Elrohir thought about it; Erestor was often found alone. He always prepared the Last Homely House for new arrivals or party's but never attended. He always preferred to be alone. Or was that indeed the true? Did the advisor really wanted to be alone? Or did he decided that being alone was better than being with the Elf he loves?
Elladan was having similar thoughts to his brother. He also remembered a time when Erestor came to his and his twins aid. He had always been the one nagging his brother on. One time he persuaded his brother to go rock climbing. The were already half way when rocks came falling from the sky; or so it seemed to the young elflings. It had been Erestor that had arrived first and safely brought them back to the ground and into their worried parents arms.
Why was it that Erestor was always the first one to get them out of trouble? The twins shared a look as the same thought crossed their minds: could it be that one of them was the elf Erestor was in love with?
The twins were shocked out of their thoughts when a moan left the figure on the bed. Elrohir instantly reacted and took one clammy hand in his own. "It's alright Erestor, you are save." He didn't know why he was saying these words but instinctually knew that was what Erestor wanted…no needed to hear. Something, or maybe someone?, was plaguing the advisor's dreams making it difficult for him to rest.
Erestor relaxed at those words; the voice sounded familiar but who was it? It couldn't possibly be Elrond…could it? No, Elrond would not be here with him…would he? "El…" he began but couldn't finish, speaking was already waring him out.
"Hush, mellon nîn," Elrohir whispered into Erestor's ear. Both he and his twin had come to the same conclusion. The advisor was obviously calling for either them or their father. "I am here."
At those words Erestor instantly relaxed. "Amin mela lle, Elrond, ind nîn."
Elrohir and Elladan, once again, shared a look. Although they should have been prepared for such an answer, the were still surprised that it was their father that the advisor loved.
"What are you thinking, my brother?" Elladan asked his brother when he was certain Erestor was, once again, asleep.
"It is a little difficult to see Ada with someone else beside Nana but… I don't want to loose Erestor and if Ada can make him happy and keep him from fading then I am willing to give them a chance." Elrohir responded.
"Aye, I agree. Nana set Ada free when she sailed for Valinor." Elrohir nodded at this. "We should tell father what we have learned."
"I think one of us should go and the other should stay here," Elrohir told his twin when Erestor whimpered in his sleep again. "I do not want to leave him alone and Ada will need a moment to process what he has learned."
"You are right, as always," Elladan before standing up. "I shall talk to Ada, make him understand what is happening to Erestor and hopefully he will be able to help him. Otherwise I fear we may have not only lost Erestor but Ada as well. For I am certain the guilt will eat him up." At this Elrohir gave his brother a confused look. "You must have seen how the guilt of Nana leaving us ate him alive. I'm certain he feels guilty for the choice our uncle Elros made."
"You are right; when have you become the wise one?" Elrohir joked, making his brother smile before leaving him with the advisor. "We are going to save you Erestor, I don't want another I love."
Elladan made his way to his father's study and knocked on the door. At a muffed ‘enter' he walked inside. "Ada, may I speak with you," he asked when his father looked up.
"Ion nîn, are you unwell? Is you brother unwell?" A worried look passed his father's face and Elladan was quick to reassure his father.
"We are both well, Ada. It isn't us that I'm worried about. It is Erestor."
Erestor? His advisor? Why would his sons be worried about him? "Why? What is ailing him?" Elrond couldn't find a reason to think Erestor was unwell. But then again he hadn't seen his advisor in a few days… That might be a reason to not know Erestor state of being.
"Elrohir and I were taking a walk through the gardens when we saw Erestor at the wavering bridge. We know he liked to walk the gardens alone and at first we didn't approach him but Elrohir noticed the despair coming of him," Elladan began but stopped. "Shall we sit down before I continue?"
Elrond hadn't noticed he had stand up when he had seen his son coming into the room but he had. Nodding his head he moved over to the windowsill where father and son sat down.
After a sort silence Elladan continued. "When we came closer we noticed little things about his behaviour and his appearance. He's lost a lot of weight, you can see he's skin on bones. His eyes are sunken and his hair is losing colour. There are more changes to him that can only indicate one thing," the younger elf stopped a moment, giving his father to come to a conclusion. "He's fading and if we don't find a way to help him we may loose him forever."
Elrond was glad his son had asked to be seated before he continued with his tale for he was certain his knees would give away when he heard this. His best friend was fading and he hadn't even noticed? What doest that say about him? But nay, this is not the time to think about him. He must focus on Erestor. "And you are hoping I can tell you why he's fading?" Elrond concluded and was surprised when his son shook his head.
"Nay, Ada. Elrohir and I have already found out why our dear advisor is fading," Elladan told his father.
Elrond looked at his son. "But you will not tell me."
"I am not yet sure I should. If I tell you think and you will not help him then I am certain we will lose him. But if I don't tell you at all we will lose him aswell."
Elrond gave his son the time to confide in him. He was a little angry that his son didn't trust him but also knew that Elladan was acting in Erestor's best interest.
"He's fading because he's in love with you and Elrohir and I think that he had either never told you or you have rejected him," Elladan finally confided.
To say that Elrond was shocked was an understatement. He hadn't know that his advisor has feelings for him. Was he really the reason that they were losing Erestor?
"I didn't know…" Elrond whispered as pain took hold of him. He didn't want to lose his best friend but was he able to bond with him? To lay with him?
Elladan saw his father's thoughtful look and decided to give him some time to process this. "I will leave you to your thoughts but I implore you, ada, to hasten. For Erestor doesn't have much time left…should you decide to help him." And with that he left his father alone.
Elrond let his son's words sink in. Erestor loved him. Erestor was fading because he had never told Elrond. Or did he? He vaguely remembered Erestor telling him that there was an elf interested in him many years after his wife had sailed for Valinor but Elrond had told the advisor that his heart had grown cold and couldn't love another. Had that been the reason why his best friend was fading now? But that was millennia ago, why would it take effect now?
Obviously he wouldn't get an answer to those questions now and decided to focus on his own feelings for now.
Did he love Erestor? The simple answer was yes. He has loved Erestor since they had become friends. But was he in love with him? He certainly found the other elf attractive. There was no denying that Erestor wasn't beautiful. He may be harsh with his words from time to time but that was what Elrond like about him. There was no doubt that Elrond loved Erestor but was he in love with him? The simple answer was no…but he could be.
He hadn't opened his heart in such a long time and maybe Erestor would be able to break the walls he had built around it. He could certainly try…but no. If he only tried than they would lose Erestor. He had to be certain. He had to actually want to bond with him. He had to feel it with his heart, his body, his soul. Only then would the Valar bless their union and hopefully save Erestor from fading.
Elrond sighed and looked out the window. It was a heavy burden but one he must carry. He didn't want Erestor to fade so he hoped that his current lose was enough for the advisor. Making his decision Elrond stood up and marched to the advisor's room somehow knowing that his sons and Erestor were in that room. He didn't know how he knew but something inside of him told him they were there…
After Elladan talked to his father he went back to Erestor and his brother. To inform his brother about the talk he had with their father.
"You think father will help him?" Elrohir asked his brother.
"I'm not sure, gwador. Ada loves Erestor but I don't think he's in love with him," Elladan told his brother honestly.
"Yes, Ada closed his heart when nana sailed for Valinor. But she did set him free to love again and hopefully he'll be able to love Erestor as he should be."
The two brothers sat in silence for a while until a knock sounded on the door. When Elrohir answered with a short ‘enter' their father walked in and immediately went for the bed assessing Erestor; his healer instincts kicking in.
"Ai, Erestor why didn't you ever tell me," he whispered concern showing in his eyes. Erestor must have loved him for a long time to put him in such a state now.
Taking a moment to compose himself, Elrond turned to his sons, wanting to say something to them but not knowing what.
"We love Erestor, ada, and do not want to loose him but if you are not ready for this then you shouldn't be here," Elrohir stated. He had always been more protective of Erestor than his brother. "But if you decide that you can make him happy and are willing to follow through with the bond then Elladan and I will give our blessings."
Elrond didn't know what to say and was wondering when his son had grown up so much.
"We know you loved Nana, Ada, but she set you free to love again and if you can find love with Erestor don't let the memory of our mother stop you," Elladan said.
Elrond nodded, having his son's bless him in this manor meant a lot to him. He just hoped Arwen would feel the same. But there was no time to contact her. He had to act now; for Erestor was already at the Mandos' doors.
His son both gave him a hug and Erestor a comforting squeeze before leaving the Elrond alone with his advisor.
"Ai, Erestor. It pains me to see you like this. I hope you know that I am willing to bond with you…I just hope it's enough to pull you back…" But thinking like that wasn't good. He should stay positive.
He leaned in and placed his hands on Erestor's shoulders. Concentrating, he led some of his healing powers flow into the unconscious elf. Elrond wasn't going to bind with him when he was unconscious.
"Wake up for me, mellon nîn," Elrond whispered soothingly. "You are not leaving me."
Erestor opened his eyes slightly. Elrond? This was a dream? A beautiful dream but a dream nonetheless. Elrond wouldn't be here, not in his bedroom…would he?
"Yes, look into my eyes, my friend, and see for yourself that I'm here," Elrond continued soothingly.
"Elrond?" Erestor asked, sleepily. When the half elf nodded, Erestor shook his head. "Nay, ‘tis not true. ‘Tis a dream…"
"Nay, my friend. I am here. Touching you, loving you," Elrond was gently carassing the advisor's chilled skin hoping his touch was soothing to the other elf.
"Love me?" Erestor must have heard it incorrectly. Elrond couldn't possible love him, could he?
Carefully, Elrond placed a gentle kiss on top of the cold lips. A moan left Erestor's lips at the simple touch. If this is a dream then never let it end.
Encouraged by the response he drew out of his advisor, Elrond deepened the kiss.
Erestor was confused. If this was a dream, why then did it feel so real? Another moan escaped him when a tongue played with his own. This couldn't be a dream, could it? Suddenly dread took hold of him, if this wasn't a dream then who was kissing him. It couldn't be Elrond, for the half elf had never taken notice of him.
Opening his eyes again he realised that it was Elrond. Nay! he tried to get away. Knowing the half elf could never love him. He rather have Mandos take him then have this be a lie.
"It's all right, my friend," Elrond noticed Erestor's struggle and held him tighter. Determined not to let the other elf away. "I am here, you are loved."
"Nay, ‘tis not real," Erestor shook his head not believing the words.
"But it is," Elrond continued. "I may not have noticed it before but I do love you, my sweet Erestor." Those words alone froze Erestor in place. Elrond took advantage of his friend's frozen state and quickly got a knife which he had brought with him. "If you are willing, I want us to be bonded together."
Erestor's eyes bulged from their sockets. "You cannot be serious."
"Aye, but I am," Elrond tried another approach. "Please, don't let me lose you now that I have found your love…"
Guilt flashed through Erestor but he didn't say anything.
"Erestor," Elrond waited till the advisor looked at him. "Will you take a chance and accept my love? Will you bond with me, my dear Erestor?"
Erestor took a moment to consider; what did he have to lose? If he accepted Elrond he could die and if he didn't he would die. After a moment of silence Erestor nodded, giving his consent. He didn't want to die and if he had a chance at living he'd take it. Even though this was probably a dream, a nice dream but a dream none the less.
Elrond let out a relieved sigh when he saw Erestor nodding his head. "Hannon le, mellon nîn." He smiled before making a small incision on his arm and did the same with Erestor. "I'm sorry, mellon nîn, but it will hurt only for a moment."
Once they both had a fresh cut on their arm Elrond brought their wounds together letting their blood mingle. "I Elrond Half-Elven bind myself to you Erestor of Doriath for all eternity; may the Valar bless our union."
"I Erestor of Doriath bind myself to you Elrond Half-Elven for all eternity; may the Valar bless our union," Erestor said the vow with much difficulty but was able to complete it. Fatigue was still clouding him but he got through it in the end.
A bright white light surrounded the two elves before it settled down on their open wounds indication that they were now bonded and that it had been accepted by the Valar.
"You are mine now," Elrond whispered into one ear before turning his head and claiming his advisor's lips with his own sealing the bond.
Erestor moaned and tried to pull the half-elven on top of him but he was too weak to reach out. He had dreamed of this for so long and wanted nothing else but the Half-Elven's kiss. Elrond seemed to know what he wanted though and shifted so he rested on top of Erestor, making sure he wasn't crushing the other elf.
Skilled hands reached up to unbutton his shirt, which for some reason he was still wearing. "More," he moaned when one of the roaming hands pinched his nipple. How he wanted more, much more than the other elf was giving him right now. He needed him, wanted him for so long. If there was a chance that this wasn't a dream he wanted Elrond to take him to finally claim him as his own.
Elrond was amazed how Erestor responded to his manipulation and gave in to his silent command. He helped Erestor out of his shirt and leggings before laying back on top of him. Mapping his chest and stomach with his mouth.
He didn't know things between them could feel this good but he didn't question it. He wanted more and quickly removed his own clothing. Once he was unclothed he lay back on top of Erestor.
"Please, Elrond," deep inside himself Erestor still thought this was a dream and he never ever wanted to wake up.
Elrond could feel the hardening length against his hips and moved one of his hands down to take a gentle hold of it. Slowly he started stroking it up and down, up and down. Soon Erestor was wriggling in pleasure moving into his hand as much as he could.
Already the bond seemed to strengthening the advisor as he was now able to move his hands up and down Elrond's body and gently press him closer to his own body.
"Elrond," Erestor moan turned into a groan as the half-elven took the tip of the advisor's leaking member into his mouth. Experimentally he sucked it, making Erestor moan and buckle his hips the half-elven's name leaving his mouth.
Elrond looked up from his position between Erestor's legs and noticed the advisor's eyes were closed, his lips were parted and a slight flush graced his features. All in all, Erestor looked amazing, beautiful even and Elrond was never going to let him go. Not now, not now he had found him and his love.
Turning his attention back at the prize before him he took more of Erestor into his mouth. Relaxing his throat, he slowly started bobbing his head. Loving every sounds his lover was making.
Erestor was getting closer and closer to his release but he didn't want to come this way. He gently pulled Elrond's hair, hoping he'd get the hint; luckily he did.
"What's wrong?" Elrond asked, concerned. Had he done something wrong?
"I don't wanted…" Erestor's eye were still closed but he opened them to speak to Elrond wanting him to see what he wanted for he wasn't able to say the words.
"Ahh, I think I understand," Elrond said reading the desire in his lover's eyes. He sat up to claim Erestor's lips with his own before he made him turn over. "On your side, love."
"Nay, I wish to see you," Erestor said, a little desperate.
"And you will, but first I need to prepare you," Elrond gentle kissed his lover's cheek as he helped him turn over.
He reached out to the nightstand where he had previously placed a jar of oil which he could use to prepare his lover. He uncorked it before taken an enormous amount of his finger and slowly pushed into the tight channel.
Erestor moaned when Elrond's finger entered him. It felt a little uncomfortable but it didn't hurt him, at least not yet.
Elrond stretched the advisor as much as he could before he entered another finger and repeated the action till the advisor was properly stretched. When he was certain his lover wouldn't be in any pain he made the advisor turn over so they could be face to face when he entered him.
"You must tell me if you are hurting," Elrond told him and waited for the nod before positioning himself and slowly entering the tight channel. Although he had properly prepared the other elf he was still too tight.
Erester moaned out loud when Elrond gently entered him. The feelings that were surging through his body were overwhelming. Never before had he felt like this and he never ever wanted it to stop. The half-elven kept hitting something deep inside him that made him seen stars
Elrond was careful when he entered the inexperience Elf and hoped it would be as good for him as it was to him. Never before had he felt like this and if he didn't move soon he would explode.
They moved as if they were one, with each stroke Elrond hit that hidden pleasure spot deep within Erestor's body. Faster and faster until both reached their climax at the same time. "I love you, Elrond," Erestor said close to exhaustion and falling asleep.
"And I love you," Elrond replied and it was that moment that Erestor realized this wasn't a dream and for the first time in many many years he smiled. Everything will be okay for he was with the elf he loved and nothing could separate them now.
Elrond cleaned both of them up with his discarded tunic before gathering his newly found lover into his arms. Their love was new but it was amazing none the less and no one was ever going to take Erestor away from him; he was going to make certain of it.
As Itil shone brightly high in the sky, lighting up the valley of Imladris the newly found lovers drifted of to the land of dreams in each other's arms. Nothing could harm them now for they had each other.