The previous weekend Edward and Harry had gone to the magical community and there the vampire had spend some time researching the bond. When Harry and Edward got out of school later that week, the vampire started executing his and Jasper's plan. They entered the house and Harry walked over to C.J. as he always did and talked to him for a moment. Then he'd get out his homework and sit down at the dinner table.
Jasper could feel the anxiety coming off his brother in waves. When their eyes met he gave him a comforting nod. I'll keep you posted of his emotions, he confirmed. They had agreed that it would be best not to push the wizard and if Jasper felt any discomfort coming from him, he'd let Edward know.
Edward took out his own homework and set it down on the table before sitting down next to his mate. He took a deep unneeded breath, trying to think of the best course of action as he let his eyes roam the books he had placed on the table.
Harry looked up as Edward sat down next to him; though it wasn't unusual for his mate to join him while he was doing his homework, it had been for the past few weeks. Lately Edward would sit behind his piano and play it while he was doing his homework. The first time Edward had left him to play his piano it hadn't bothered him, for he knew how much the musician loved to play. When inspiration hits you should always write it down before you forget it, but when Edward wouldn't join him the next day and the day after that; it had hurt him. As his eyes fell on his mate beside him he couldn't help but smile; for the first time in a while he felt happy.
He's happy you joined him, Jasper's thoughts broke Edward out of his musings. Hiding the smile that forced its way to his lips he considered his next move. Obviously he had done the right thing by sitting down next to his mate. He couldn't imagine how these small gestures could mean so much to the human.
Thinking back to what they had been studying, he decided on his course of action. He grabbed his history book and shoved the rest away. After opening the book he turned the pages to the appropriate chapters and then pretended to read as he thought back to what the teacher had said. From time to time he would answer the exercises before he came to a solution.
"Harrison, could you go over what Mr. Adler said?" Edward asked.
"Surely you remember what he said?" Harry asked, confusion clearly showing on his face. Knowing how long term vampires memories were, he found it rather odd that the vampire couldn't remember this. Was something wrong?
"I was…distracted," the vampire replied.
"What was keeping you distracted?" Harry asked with clear curiosity and concern.
"The humans were thinking rather loudly," Edward replied, cringing as he thought back to the history class.
Harry's worried gaze locked with the vampire's. "When I go to the magical community I can look for a potion or something that could block the thoughts. Maybe that will help?"
Edward thought a moment before he answered. "Yes, maybe, but not something that would block my ability," he said. "It's a useful gift, one that could protect the family, I don't want to get rid of it."
Harry nodded in acknowledgement. He could understand the need to protect ones family. "I'll see if I can find anything that will dampen your ability, at least at school," the wizard promised.
The vampire gave his mate a smile. "Thank you," he placed his hand on the wizard's and felt a shock of electricity pass through him but didn't pull away. "Now, what did Mr. Adler animatedly babble about this time?" Clearly their history teacher loved his subject; whenever he was talking about history he would excitedly tell the class how extraordinary it was to live in that time. It didn't matter what time he was talking about; any time was better than the current century.
Harry grinned before he thought back to history class. "He was talking about the second world war. Which president dropped the atomic bomb that ended the war or something," Harry explained as he searched for his notes. "We have to write an essay on who dropped the atomic bomb and explain why they decided to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki."
"President Truman bombed Japan to stop the war; end essay," Edward grinned at his mate and felt happiness spread to him when his mate laughed.
"I believe you have to be a little more detailed than that."
"What would you write?" Edward asked curiously.
Harry was taking back by that question. He hadn't even thought about what he should write. "I would say it was revenge for Pearl Harbor," Harry began. "But also to end the war, as you said, and maybe even include the Japanese culture; the samurai."
"What do you mean with that?"
"Well, the samurai lived according to a code; to never surrender. Had the U.S. military invaded Japan, more lives would have been lost for the Japanese would have fought until death…or something." Harry trailed off, unsure of his idea.
"I think that's an amazing theory, Harrison," Edward complimented his mate. He had never even thought about that before. Sure he had thought about the revenge for Pearl Harbor but never thought about the Japanese culture.
"You do?" Harry asked as a blush graced his features.
"Yes, you should really use that," Edward gave his mate a smile before backing away, knowing he was making the wizard uncomfortable. Harry didn't know how to take a compliment but with time Edward was going to teach him how. The vampire turned back to his homework as he watched Harry shifting on his seat from the corner of his eyes.
Harry took a moment to study his mate. Confusing was clearly showing on his face, he didn't understand what was going on with his mate. When they first started out no one was able to separate them. Then two weeks ago, his mate was pulling away from him and now…well, he wasn't certain what the vampire was doing but he couldn't say he didn't like it. His mate was showing an interest in him again, letting him know that he wasn't alone in this big world.
With a tiny smile on his lips, he went back to his own homework. He was doing the exercises of his math homework. Never being any good at math, his smile quickly disappeared as his face constricted in concentration. He was biting his pen as he reread the explanation before rereading the exercise. After reading it five times, he still didn't understand what they were asking of him.
Sneaking a glance at his mate, he wondered if he would be able to explain it to him. If he asked his mate for help, would he think he was some kind of idiot who couldn't understand math?
Harry remembered the first time he asked for help or at least for help on his studies. He had been about four or five and asked his uncle if he could show him how to draw a squirrel for he had never seen one and didn't know what it looked like. His uncle had laughed at him, called him a good for nothing idiot, slapped him in the face and told him never to bother him with his stupidity again.
Later that day he had asked Dudley to show him, who also called him an idiot and pushed him away, losing his balance he had landed hard on his bum making his eyes water; after that incident Dudley had kept calling him an ‘idiot sissy' for falling and crying. After that he had asked for help once or twice but every time someone had turned him away. He had learned long ago not to ask for help.
But Edward wasn't like his uncle, or those other people who turned him away. Once he had been able to open up to him without a problem, why couldn't he now? Fear, a little voice said in the back of his mind. Yes, it was fear. Fear that he would lose him or that Edward would think him an idiot as his uncle and cousin had done.
He opened his mouth to ask Edward to help him, but closed it again when no sound came out. Licking his lips, he tried again. "Edward?" his voice was soft and he was certain that if Edward had been human he wouldn't have heard him.
Edward had kept glancing at his mate, especially when Jasper had told him that he was feeling a little sad. When he heard his mate's voice, he felt his heart jump in joy. Turning to him he waited for the wizard to continue.
"You…Do…" he began, before stopping. He took a deep breath gathering his Gryffindor courage he was sure he still had somewhere deep within him and decided to let fate decide. "Could you help me with this?"
Inside, Edward was happy Harry had taken this step but showed none of it on the outside; remaining calm and collected as he always did. "Of course," he said and reached for the math book. "What do you need help with?"
Everything? Edward could hear the thought in his mind and was slightly confused for he hadn't been able to hear his mate's thoughts for a few weeks now. "This," the small, though slightly stronger than before, voice said as he pointed to one of the exercises.
Edward took a moment to read through the example and then the exercise before nodding. "This is relatively easy once you know what they are doing here," he began before explaining the exercise, all the while his heart was leaping inside his chest. He raised his eyes for a moment to look at his brother, silently asking him what his mate was feeling.
He's confused, but content. Still slightly sad but happy. I think what you're doing is helping. He's already opening up, is he not?
Edward gave him an unseen nod as he continued explaining the exercise to Harry. "So, I have to divide these two numbers and then I have to add them to this number?" Harry asked, a little uncertain.
"Precisely," Edward answered, smiling brightly at Harry.
Harry bit his bottom lip. "I actually understand this?" he wondered and blushed when he realised he had said it out loud.
"Of course, you just needed a little push into the right direction," Edward smiled at his mate once more. "Now, with this one you just do the same. You try it and I'll look over it once you're done, okay?"
Harry nodded and began working on the exercise. Roughly twenty minutes later he asked Edward to look it over for him.
Edward picked up the notebook and worked his way through the answer. By the end he was smiling. "It's correct, I believe you understand it."
The beaming smile his mate bestowed on him warmed his heart. He didn't tell me I'm an idiot and neither has he turned me away. All he did was explain it in a level I'd understand. Harry was a little confused yet very excited that he finally seemed to grasp his math homework. He did the next exercise which he was able to finish as well.
Proud that he was to finally able to grasp the concept of his math homework he leaned in and hugged his mate in silent thanks. Blushing as he sat back down but still smiling for their arms were still touching.
Edward concealed his smile as he finished his homework. He had made his mate happy; nothing could have made him happier than to make his mate happy. He noticed that their arms were still touching and for once his hormones didn't go in overdrive. Apparently the predator was content just sitting with his mate, at least for now.
"Harrison," Edward began a half hour or so later. He thought it was time to explain some things to the wizard for they were a couple and needed to work things out together. "I wanted to discuss something with you. Are you…would you do me the honour of meeting me in my…our bedroom later tonight?"
Harry's stomach sank when he heard Edward's question. The wizard nodded not daring to speak, not certain what his mate wanted to talk to him about.
"I'm going to play some music; will you meet me after dinner?" Another nod followed. Edward nodded and then left the wizard alone with his thoughts, knowing he had just made the wizard nervous but not knowing how else to bring it up. This way the wizard had a little time to collect his thoughts.
The vampire sat behind his piano and not soon after his brother joined him. "You did the right thing," he said in a silent voice not wanting the wizard to hear them as he sat down. "He may be nervous now but he needs to know he doesn't have to fear you."
Edward nodded his head. "It was hard on him to ask for my help," he said after a moment of silence where only the melody the musician was playing could be heard.
"Yes, he was struggling to get the words out but you reacted accordingly. It may take him a few more tries, but I believe he knows he can ask for your help, but that doesn't mean he will be asking every time he needs it."
"Trust has always been something foreign to him. I won't believe he'll trust me easily not after I pulled away from him without telling him why. Yet, he has trusted me before and maybe will again. I'll do whatever it takes for him to trust me again," Edward swore as he hit the keys a little too loud, making the sound echo in the room.
"You have any brotherly advice for tonight?" Edward asked after a moment of silence and smirked at the empath.
Jasper smacked him playfully upside the head before answering. "Just make sure you don't treat him like an idiot. He knows what has been happening; he just doesn't understand or knows why."
"You are right… So I just tell him the reason I've been pulling away from him?"
"Yes, but make sure you don't frighten him. Make him realise you'd never force yourself on him and state the temporary solution we have come up with but most of all let him know how you feel."
Edward nodded. "I don't know why I put myself into these situations. I mean, I've been in two relationships and look what happened; one I already drove away while the other is on his way…" Edward said miserably.
"One thing you should always remember when you are in a relationship is that there are two people involved. Your actions could have consequences to your mate. Both of you are struggling now because it's still new and you haven't stated your claim yet. Once both of you realise that the other isn't leaving you, everything will fall into place and things should be easier," Jasper smiled as he saw the startled look his brother shot him. "Yes, you have abandonment issues as well, my dear brother. They are hidden deep within you but they are still there."
Edward was startled; he hadn't even realised this but knew it to be true. Yes, he was afraid as well that Harry would leave him; like Bella had. That he wouldn't be able to satisfy him or keep him happy.
When he was with Bella he realised that he was too clingy with her. He always wanted to be with her; was always watching her – like a stalker. He had climbed into her bedroom through her window and watched her sleep and would leave the moment she woke up. Once he had been caught but luckily he had his vampire speed and Bella had thought it was nothing but a dream. Every time he had been in the room with her he had wanted to taste her…to kiss her but never allowed himself; knowing it would wake her up.
He had been content just being with her, smelling her amazing smell. There was no need for anything more than a simple kiss on the lips where he would be able to taste her or a simple embrace; an arm over her shoulder when they were at school. Those little gestures had been enough for him.
Maybe that's why it had gone wrong for him. While he was content just holding her, she had wanted more. She had even initiated something more intimate; placing his hand on one of her breast. At first he hadn't realised it for he had been too busy kissing her but then she let out a throaty moan, which shook him back to reality. Quickly he had removed his hand and apologised.
She had smiled at him and told him it had been okay, that she wanted this…that she needed this. For a split second the vampire had been angry. What about his needs? He didn't want it, he didn't need it. Besides, he had been brought up to believe that he should find a nice girl, marry her and only when they were married they were able to consummate their holy matrimony.
Edward didn't want a simple roll in the sack, or woods as where they had been at that time. He wanted it to be special; something he would be able to remember forever and look back to with a smile on his face. It would be tender and sweet, something you would only read about in books or see in the films but he wanted it none the less and he had wanted it with Bella.
That was, of course, before he caught her in bed with one Jacob Black. How angry he had been the day he had caught them red handed. That night he had wanted to kill them both and kill them slowly. Bella was screaming at him while Jacob stood in front of her ready to attack Edward should he attack her. He had to restrain himself so he wouldn't kill them. "We're done," he gritted out before fleeing as fast as he could. Even though he wasn't a coward, he had nothing left inside him to fight. Well, that wasn't true; he would have killed them if he had a chance but he would never risk his family like that.
He had fled and didn't return to the house for a week. By then his family had learned what had happened from Alice, who had apparently seen it. They had never even talked about it…until now.
The moment Bella had told him he would never be able to satisfy her, had been a slap in the face. He had really believed she was his mate and to have his mate reject him had hurt him worse than ever. At one point, he had wanted to die and contemplated finding someone who would be able to kill him. Yet, he couldn't do that to his family…well, not before he said goodbye and so he had returned. They had tried to cheer him up but nothing had seemed to work and they'd given him his space.
That's when Esme started talking about this new kid in town with a baby. Edward had seen him at school a few times and was quite intrigued by him but recent events made him cautious of everyone. So he kept his distance from the boy even though his family accepted him into their household even their hearts. At one point there was no denying the attraction he had to the boy and though afraid he would make another mistake he had accepted Harrison into his heart.
Now he couldn't be happier that he had done so but there were still both their abandonment issues to deal with. Now that he knew he had them as well, maybe they could work with it – make each other realise neither of them was going to leave…or at least Edward hoped Harrison wasn't going to leave him.
How much would he miss the wizard if he did? And C.J? Both of them had quickly become his family, his world, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for them. He couldn't lose them. He didn't know what he'd do if he did but he knew that it wasn't anything good. Losing Bella had been hard on him but loosing Harrison would devastate him and if he lost C.J. too… he would be broken.
No, he would work hard on their relationship. Nothing in this world could make him give Harry up and he would prove to Harry that Edward was worthy of his love even though he had hurt him.
"You know, you have never talked to us about what has happened between you and Bella," Jasper's voice brought him out of his musings. "Maybe you can talk to Harry about it?" He gently suggested.
Edward didn't like talking about Bella but maybe he would be able to get through to Harry with this. "Maybe," was his only reply.